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Olivia is funny
Author:
oliviaoncam
Description
Source Code
Launch Bot
Current Users
Created by:
Oliviaoncam
// vars var last_tipper = null; var last_tip_amount = 0; var total_tipped = 0; var langTokens = (cb.settings.joke_price > 1) ? 'tokens' : 'token'; cb.settings_choices = [ {name:'joke_price', type:'int', minValue:1, maxValue:100, label:'Tip for a joke', defaultValue:1}, {name:'advertisement_wait_time', type:'choice', label:'Notify Time (in minutes)', choice1:1, choice2:2, choice3:3, choice4:4, choice5:5, choice6:10, choice7:15, choice8:20, choice9:25, choice10:30, defaultValue:10} ]; cb.onTip(function (tip) { total_tipped += parseInt(tip['amount']); last_tip_amount = parseInt(tip['amount']); last_tipper = tip['from_user']; if(parseInt(tip['amount']) >= cb.settings.joke_price) { var numberOfRolls = Math.floor(parseInt(tip['amount'])/cb.settings.joke_price); for(var i=0;i<numberOfRolls;i++) { cb.chatNotice(getRandomFortune(), '', '#bd68a1', '#ffffff', 'bold'); } } }); function getRandomFortune() { var fortunes = new Array( "My doctor said he's been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?", "What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotapus", "My grandad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.", "You will find love sometime in the future.", "How did the Welshman find the sheep in the tall grass? Satisfying!", "Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a bridge? Tequila!!!", "Don't beat yourself up too hard... you might need to buy a new bottle of lube if you keeping doing that.", "Knock knock. /Who's there? /Dwayne. /Dwayne who? /Dwayne the bathtub I'm dwowning!", "What is a duck's favourite drug? Quack!", "What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre", "Cock is in your future.", "Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.", "Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10? I asked him and he said: I still love vista, baby!", "If you keep jerking off too much, you'll need a new box of tissues.", "What's Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1", "What did the overly excited gardner do when spring finally arrived? He wet his plants!", "Lol. I just got " + last_tip_amount + " " + langTokens + " from you!", "What do you call Batman when he skips church? Christian Bale!", "Can't find a good joke for you. Tip again? ;)", "What's red and bad for your balls? A brick", "What does a baby computer call his father? Data!", "What is the difference between three and two? One!", "What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe dammit, BREATHE!", "What did the midget say to the pint of beer? I could drink you under the table!", "The best job you will ever get starts with a blow.", "What's the difference between a chick pea and a potato? You wouldn't pay to have a potato on you!", "Parallel lines have so much in common, it's a shame they're never gonna meet.", "I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me!", "If you keep tipping, you'll eventually turn purple.", "What's the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? One you'll see in a while and the other you'll see later!", "Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!", "Jokes about menstruation just aren't funny. Period.", "What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley!", "What did the ghost say to the bee? Boo bee!", "What concert costs only 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!", "Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she kept running from the ball!", "What did the perverted frog say? Rubbit", "Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.", "What do you do if someone thinks an onion is the only food that can make them cry? Throw a coconut at their face.", "The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.", "So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere.", "Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks: How do you drive this thing?", "I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.", "How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.", "You want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it’s pretty cheesy.", "How do you make Holy water? Boil the hell out of it.", "What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.", "What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.", "What did the O say to the Q? Dude, your dick’s hanging out.", "Great news! That white stain on your monitor is NOT glue!", "You just lost " + last_tip_amount + " " + langTokens + " to me. Lol", "What goes up, must come down. Especially your dick." ); return fortunes[Math.floor((Math.random()*fortunes.length))]; } function advertise() { cb.chatNotice('Tip ' + cb.settings.joke_price + ' ' + langTokens + ' for a joke!', '', '#bd68a1', '#ffffff', 'bold'); cb.setTimeout(advertise, cb.settings.advertisement_wait_time * 60000); } function init() { cb.chatNotice('Every time you cringe at my jokes, an angel loses their wings.', '', '#bd68a1', '#ffffff', 'bold'); advertise(); } init();
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